Good Mourning

Mourning,
Grief,
Each instance is nuanced, complex-
Its own universe of pain and sometimes, occasionally,
also of a strange beauty,
A catharsis almost.
While I can't speak to the utter despondency that I'd imagine comes with the mourning of the loss of a loved one- nor would I ever think to trivialize that experience by pretending to grasp it fully, I can speak to a different kind of loss.
Good Mourning is about another kind of loss, another kind of grief, another kind of healing. This book is a collection of "prosey shit"-
as I like to call it-
that more fell out of me than "came to" me. These bits that leaked out of me over the last few years in the process of recovery, of mourning the loss of someone who was never actually there, never actually real -
at all.
More importantly, it was my way of processing, of mourning,
The loss of whatever shreds of my own "innocence" had escaped unscathed by the decades before, only to be slowly executed at the hands of an abusive, sociopathic asshole...
Who I was madly in love with for a decade, though physically with closer to half of one.

Good Mourning,
Because the mourning accompanied realizations, freedom-
Pain yes,
but freedom.
And freedom, in my experience and opinion at least,
Is worth just about anything endured to gain it.
"Good Mourning" is for anyone who's experienced the kind of tears that purge your soul of the toxic...
That cut you and free you in a bittersweet melody of release...
Well, for those folks and also anyone else who cares to read this little book.
"Good Mourning" was also the chosen title because, in the beginnings, when I first went back to the aforementioned sociopath, I'd roll over and he'd say "good morning beautiful" and hand me a coffee.
*spoiler alert, it wasn't all that dandy and lovely, thus the book of prosey shit and extensive therapy *
I make my own coffee now days, but my days are beautiful none-the-less, and the mourning?
It has been- oddly-
Good.